I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
