If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
