K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
