So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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