I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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