I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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