The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
