i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
