I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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