i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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