He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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