just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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