Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
