Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
