Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
