I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
