They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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