Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize