I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
