i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
