So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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