spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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