Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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