my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
