Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize