Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
