i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
