is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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