Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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