And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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