There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
