Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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