Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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