How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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