We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
