Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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