My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
