Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
