OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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