we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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