I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
