well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
