Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize