Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
