Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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