Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
