she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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