We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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