I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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