dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
