yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
