We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
