so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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