he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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