Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
