Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
