dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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