just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
